Jerry and Alana made friends with some new neighbors on the block, Ted and Joyce. Ted and Joyce seemed like fantastic people. Ted and Joyce  purchased the nicest home on the street, proving to Jerry and Alana that the new neighbors had great taste. Then Derick, Jerry and Alana’s son, told his parents that the neighbor’s son, Chris, was in his class at school. And the final twist of fate that told Jerry and Alana that they had found some lifelong friends was seeing Ted and Joyce sitting two rows in front of them at church!

The friendship blossoms. The families took turns hosting backyard barbecues. Ted and Jerry rode the train together to work most mornings. Derrick and Chris begin hanging out together even after school. And Alana and Joyce treated each other like sisters!

That all changes one day when Ted and Joyce headed out of town and ask Jerry and Alana to check on the house for the long weekend.

“There shouldn’t be much mail,” Ted told Jerry. “”But whatever comes, you can just throw it on my office desk.”

Joyce added, “Can you just check on the cats to make sure they have enough food and water while we’re gone? We’ll fill up their dishes, but we just want to make sure they’ll be okay.”

“No problem,” Jerry answered as he took the keys. “Have a great trip.

Things went well the first couple of days. But on day three, Alana called Jerry from Ted and Joyce’s house.

“Jerry, come over right away! I’m next door,” Alana said urgently.

A minute later, Jerry ran into the house, breathless.

“What is it?” he asked with concern.

Alana made a terrible face and pointed to a corner that was not visible from the angle where Jerry stood.

“There,” she said in a whisper.

Jerry moved slowly to the corner and braced himself before he poked his head around the corner. Did one of the cats die? he thought, his heart pounding. Finally, he took a deep breath and peered around the corner to face the direction of the wife’s gaze.

No words could describe the objet d’art in the corner of the room. Some sort of jungle cat made out of golden wire wore a pink lei around its neck along with a medal to signify that this cat had some sort of meritorious pedigree.

“What the…?” Jerry began.

“Shhhh,” Alana said, shaking her head from side to side.

“But…” Jerry started again.

“I know,” Alana nodded slowly. “It’ the ugliest thing I have ever seen.”

“We can’t be friends with them anymore,” Jerry said while Alana nodded in agreement.

Now I ask you, what would you do?

1. Post a picture of it on the internet.
2. Pretend you never saw it.
3. Stomp it into pieces and find a way to blame the cats.
4. Steal it and post a ransom note out of cut out letters from an old newspaper.

If you answered 1, you tend to find the best in situations. Hey, you didn’t buy the puma, slap a lei around its neck, and then give it the tackiest-family-room-dust-collector-ever award. It was that way when you found it. And the right thing to do is to share it with others so they can laugh, too.

If you answered 2, you are a polite person but perhaps not the best person to eat a spinach salad in front of before a big date. You tend to avoid confrontation, hurting people’s feelings. People may not know where they stand with you because your niceness may prevent your honesty.

If you answered 3, you are a take-action kind of person. When you see things that need to be fixed, you fix them. Good for you. But you may act impulsively at times…which is why you keep a book of excuses in your back pocket so you can always find someone else to blame in a pinch.

If you answered 4, you are opportunistic and sharp, but most people won’t allow you to watch their house twice. Because you tend to be self-serving, always angling to find your best advantage in any given situation so you can exploit it.

And so you know, this blog is based on science and NOT just my opinion so if what this says about you hurts your feelings, it is what it is. If it stresses you out, maybe you should go back inside and start your week on Tuesday. After all, Monday is a terrible way to start the week. So just go back inside your house. And if you happen to be Ted and Joyce, maybe you can ask that dog butler you keep in the dining room to bring you a cup of tea…