Man Plans, God Laughs.

I hope the pen that originally wrote these words didn’t roll off the table hara-kiri style after inserting that final period. If so, that pen may have missed out on the opportunity to laugh a lot that day. Might even have lost out on some unexpected blessings, too.

Here’s my 24-hour take on things, starting at 9:00 pm on Sunday.

9:00 pm  Just left a wonderful dinner party with some new friends. Stuffed, smiling and energized. Thanks, God. That was pretty cool.

9:15 pm Going to apply my energy to some serious writing when I get home. Wooo-hooo!

9:16 pm The phone rings. On a call unexpectedly for two hours. I’m not laughing with you here, God. But you had my back earlier. I’m not complaining. Have a good night, okay?

11:20 pm It’s late but I still got a little light in these old eyes. Okay, so where was I? Let me just check email first….

11:21 pm Whoa. I wasn’t really expecting that! Better sleep on it. Sometimes it’s best to wait and get a good sleep.

11:47 pm After setting the alarm, dig in for some shut eye. I’ll hit it hard in the morning.

12:15 am I’m too tired to sleep.

12:43  am Count sheep. Count your toes. Count something!

1:38 am What comes after 9,423,128?

2:03  am Happy thoughts, happy thoughts….Just R-E-L-A-X…

3:12 am If you jump on the bed one more time, oh most vile evil cat, you will be driving yourself to the vet!

3:21 am Too…tired…to…zzzzzz

6:22 am Email alert from smart-alec friend, Wes. Eyes swollen shut. Time to get up and get to work. Thanks, Wes. Sleep is overrated. But remind me to kill you later!

6:48-11:28 am Unexpected calls both from those needing help and to those providing me with help.

12:21-1:13 pm Wrote something!

1:42-2:38 pm Really? Am I a crap magnet today!? How can I get any work done around here?! Will you people just leave me ALONE!?

2:42-4:12 pm Good friend stops by to catch up. She tunes my guitar. We share laughs and gripes. She plays with my cats. Cats try to go home with her. I try to encourage them.

4:13 pm Starts to snow. Time to go the store and start my holiday shopping.

4:15 pm Ask my good friend how to tell if my car battery is dead. Does it sound like this (she makes a sound)? Yeah. Then that’s how you know it’s dead.

4:15-4:22 pm %^$#@%*!

4:22 pm Roll dead car out of driveway so friend can help me jump start it.

4:23 pm Car stops moving in the middle of the street, blocking both lanes of traffic.

4:43 pm Friend drives across my lawn to get close enough to jump my car. Gets stuck. Spins tires until a few of my shrubs pop out of the ground.

4:54 pm  Friend’s helpful, idiot son hooks up cables the wrong way. My battery explodes.

5:11 pm Neighbor’s helpful, idiot son’s friend comes out to assess the damage.

5:22 pm. Find that neighbor’s son’s friend works in a group home like I did 20 years before. I give him a book I wrote about my experiences to encourage him. He tells me, “Thanks, man. And those shrubs might grow back if you get them in the ground early enough in the Spring,” he encourages me back.

5:32 pm Start writing again.

6:42 pm Smell something burning. Quick assessment indicates that cat has knocked the Christmas tree into the fire place. The tip of the tree is on fire and the plastic angel emits more black smoke than a burning tire.

7:12 pm Call emergency house-call vet to treat a cat that is also on fire and appears to have a broken leg. Open all windows to air out the house.

8:39 pm Fighting hypothermia. Gather sleeping bag and head to car where it’s warm.

8:42 pm Reminded of exploded battery when the car refuses to start.

8:59 pm Think that the more I plan, the more God laughs. I love his sense of humor, but determine in the future, maybe I’ll just roll on his terms instead of trying to impose my own.

Plan all you like. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don’t. You can’t plan days like mine, and if you could you wouldn’t. And that’s a shame because you might be missing out on some stories that you could be sharing years to come. And I’ve found if you wait long enough, you might even be able to laugh at those stories, too.

0 Comments Add yours

  1. Terry says:

    Hilarious and a great moral… thanks!

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